So this is what it’s like at Rick’s Powerhouse Pub huh? Didn’t know they could party like that in Sacramento. All I can say is a girl like this would probably ruin my night. Why? Because it would take my attention away from potentially getting laid with lesser, unattractive girls who are busy about to lick each other.

See what I mean? Now these are the types of girls that we need in our lives. Pure troopers. Girls who will have no clue what they did the night before. That and who won’t be able to remember any witnesses.

Chances someone is sticking something in her ass right there? Minimal. Chances that something gets stuck up there later? Pretty great.

Perfection

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I felt that a compilation of girls kissing girls would be a nice addition to the Nightclub scene. Am I wrong? Let’s take this first picture for example. Nice amount of tongue, much sloppiness, and I even get a sense that the girl on the left is slightly nervous about what she’s doing.

Wetness. I love wetness. I also love pictures that look like they were taken in a strip club. There’s something very sexy about a girl getting a lapdance from another girl. Could it be related to the fact that all men, and I’ll bet even gay men like to watch a woman with another woman?

I’m really only looking at two things here. Cleavage on the brunette and the skank on the right’s lip ring. Can you imagine the kind of trouble she’s gotten into in her lifetime? Easily been to jail for at least one night and she’s definitely peed in public a minimum of 50 times.

Something tells me the gal with the cigarette has done this before.

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Notice that I ever, even for a second said that they were cheap. Am I referring to them being hookers? No. Am I referring to the fact that you’d be paying for sex? Yes. We all know how expensive Vegas is, and let’s face it kids: If you think that you’re not paying for sex in some way shape or form, be it a prostitute or a date then you are flat out wrong. So either you are a total badass and you’re willing to shell out money to take a chance on seeing if your rap will work, or you admit that paying for sex isn’t that unforgiving when you’re in Vegas. Either way you need to somehow get it done. Here’s my advice:

If you want a hooker then I really can’t help you. Pick a chick from the book, call her up, and shell out your 300 bucks or whatever it is for 15 minutes of pleasure in your face, possible disease, and never see them again. Now, if you’re me and just won’t get a hooker, what do you do? Get a group of guys together, go to some place like Pure, or Rino, or whatever club. Shell out the dough for a table in the VIP section and let the scanks flock to you. My further advice? Pick an ugly girl with big tits. The hot ones will NOT touch you and they will use you for the table. The ugly ones? They are very thankful, will blow you, and after all you’re in Vegas. You didn’t go there to not get laid and try to impress people….well, unless you’re a moron and from Brooklyn with 6 earrings.

Another lesson. Don’t ever for one second feel like you have to be “one of the boys” if you have a chance to get laid in Vegas. One of your annoying drunk friends will call you a loser because you aren’t “hanging out” which means that you are drinking and puking until 6AM. While this is the Vegas way, your friend, if he had the chance to go home with any girl, would be sprinting to the door. If a girl is EVER in the position this girl in the picture is, get the fuck out of there with her, and don’t look back. I’d rather have a jealous and angry friend than one who thinks I’m cool for staying out and “staying true to my boys.”

That girl really wants to fuck that dude. She would be what I call a CFC girl (Cruising for Cock). I really need to get laid. Jesus.

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Who would have known that they can do it up in Minnesota when the feeling is right? Who would have known that an entire website Twincities Nightclubs even existed? You see, this is what I do…find stuff like this that I never thought possible. I enjoy amusing myself and if it amuses others, then all the better. Nice to see the blond dressed in Aqua, the name of the club. Yay! Would I ever, even for a second forget to mention that this black guy is wearing an AC/DC shirt? Now that’s probably one of the best things I’ve seen all week. Imagine this guy rocking out to “Dirty Deeds” or “Big Balls” and being like “that’s my jam.” Well, he could also say something along the lines of “I thoroughly enjoy these two tracks.” I just don’t know the black culture in Minnesota. Yeah, I sound like a racist. Seriously, screw you people who are reading this and actually think that. Oohhh, nappy headed hoes! I said those words. No!!!!

I have a question I’d like to pose. Why is the girl on the left friends with the girl on the right? I guarantee you after she saw this picture she was asking herself the same question. With all due respect to the girl on the right, it’s just out of whack is all. It’s not fair and I’m telling you ladies right now, break it up now before someone (the girl on the right) gets hurt. Can you imagine the surveillance 24 hour cockblocking watch she must be on? She could easily do it full time if someone hired her.

Wow. What a night these two would provide.Look at how spunky the one on the left is. She would be so much fun for like 5 minutes before I lost any will to be energetic and “on.” The one on the right though? I think she’d just let me lie there. That would be pretty cool. Damnet man, this Minnesota has got some good shit going on there. I may have to make the Club Aqua trip one of these days.

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